I was lucky enough a few weeks ago to find a copy of the out-of-print Mr and Mrs Soccer by Andy Harper at a local op-shop (or charity shop for the non-Australians). After handing over the spare change in my pocket to buy the book, I beamed at having finally secured the missing book in what I think of as a set of three books that make up the early oeuvre of Australian football literature up until the mid-2000s. Along with Mr and Mrs Soccer, this triumvirate also includes Sheilas, Wogs, and Poofters by Johnny Warren, and By the Balls by Les Murray.
So, needless to say, it gave me great pleasure to read Mr and Mrs Soccer. The titular ‘Mr’ and ‘Mrs’ are Johnny Warren and Les Murray (or vice versa), the indefatigable, indomitable, and inimitable broadcasting duo that carried the flame of Australian football from the 1970s until the mid-2000s. In this book, commentator and writer Andy Harper interviews Johnny and Les as they look over their career on television together, each the yin to the other’s yang, and as surrogate football missionaries to a generation finally opening its eyes to the wonders of the world game.
“Johnny: Seven didn’t show much interest in football at all. I remember when Rex was commentating on a game between England and Australia. Off air, during a break in play or at half time, he turned and said, ‘If this game ever takes over from rugby league you can fuck me in Pitt Street.’ He was flabbergasted. Then he proceeded to call the ball as ‘going into touch’, ‘out on the full’, as well as ‘touch judge has his flag up’ and references to ‘the umpire’. The football media landscape was barren in the extreme” (pg. 36)
Andy Harper, the co-author of Sheilas, Wogs and Poofters with Johnny Warren, goes to the productive well of Australian footballing heartbreak to interview Johnny and Les on the state of football in the country from the 1960s to 2004. Johnny and Les reminisce about growing up amongst the Hungarian diaspora in Sydney, as well as their early forays into football broadcasting that steeled them into the weathered, consummate professionals and doyens of SBS later. They also discuss their anger, driving skills, and the pleasures of smoking. Johnny reflects on his cancer diagnosis and, in gracefully accepting his fate borne from his chain-smoking sins over decades, readers (especially Australian readers) can be forgiven for getting misty-eyed in the present day. There is a bit of room at the end of the book for the duo to opine on Australian identity through the prism of football, and the future of the world game generally; but these asides are like sipping on sweet coffee after already devouring the filling meal.
Of particular interest is the change in cadence when Johnny and Les talk about their chief analyst and SBS Head of Sport roles respectively during the coverage of the 2002 World Cup. The power dynamics between the two, with Johnny, offended for his viewers after chief match commentator Martin Tyler was allowed to jump to Channel 9 for the World Cup Final, while Les defended his decision-making in dealing with a combustible Johnny, is fascinating to read about. This account serves up some humility and regret in a remarkable friendship that allows for this kind of reflection without any lingering animosity, reflected by the various ‘on the balls’ (vigorous, spirited debates on football) and ‘Tre collis’ (their bursts of anger and frustration in dealing with the pressures of travel) that they mention.
“Les: Johnny’s contract came up for renewal and there were further discussions. That was probably the most uncomfortable time I have ever had with Johnny; discussing Johnny’s performance and his future, arguing SBS’s position to Johnny’s lawyer, with Johnny sitting next to him. It was a rare occasion when we were on opposite sides, and it was pretty unpleasant.” (pg 146)
Stylistically, Mr and Mrs Soccer is an appropriate representation of Murray and Warren’s friendship and working relationship. Reading the alternating passages between the two, you can picture them both sitting at angles to each other behind that desk on The World Game, as the television screen places them at such a distance apart that you can’t figure out if it’s out of deference or annoyance with each other. Writer Andy Harper must be given credit for marshalling the experience, knowledge, and cachet of the duo to give such a warts-and-all account of their experiences. In doing so, Harper uses Mr and Mrs Soccer as a bridge between the before (Australia’s footballing oblivion) and the after (achieving the seemingly mythical in qualifying for the World Cup) for a new generation of Australian footballing fans that must be humbled to remember that the relative success of Australian football is underpinned by ignominy and adversity, yet was foretold and beckoned with the unrelenting support of this rare breed of men.
Even if some of their hopes and suggestions in Mr and Mrs Soccer come off as naff (reducing the number of players to 10-a-side) and quixotic (Australia to win the World Cup someday) twenty years later, we have to remember that such ideas were borne out of the bloody-minded idealism that all mavericks possess. Their ideas, as challenging and provocative now as they were before, have a great timbre and lustre. The prescience is there, too. Johnny must be spinning in his grave with the “vested interests of [more than] a small number of money-hungry European clubs” in modern times; and Les must be fuming with the introduction of video technology to deliberate on far more than whether a ball crossed a line or not.
Quite rightly, the Warren-Murray partnership, in all its forthright, pioneering, and ornery vicissitudes, is the focus of Mr and Mrs Soccer. The book was published before the Australian footballing renaissance in the mid-2000s. They lived, worked (and Johnny played) through the highs, lows, and intolerable doldrums of the Australian football domestic and international scene. Although Australian football suffered the crushing blows of the 1997 loss to Iran in the World Cup Playoff match and the Uruguay defeat in 2002, Warren and Murray had long before rallied an apathetic nation to finally feel something—even if it was soul-crushing defeat—by unfailingly appearing on our screens and replanting the football flag. It mattered because it hurt, and badly.
It is bittersweet to be able to refer to Johnny and Les in the present tense in parts of this review, for although they passed away in 2004 and 2017 respectively, such has been their legacy on football in Australia that I still think of them as alive and kicking, spreading the football gospel on SBS every Sunday morning on The World Game. While reading Mr and Mrs Soccer, I could hear Les’ sophisticated, Euro-inflected English and Johnny’s forthright erudition in every sentence attributed to them.
“Johnny: …the politics and administration of the game in this country have been a disgrace. There have been some very strong anti-soccer forces that have enjoyed this and used it for their own ends but the things that soccer administrators have been able to control have been mismanaged by organisational incompetence and political skullduggery.” (pg. 155)
Mr and Mrs Soccer is Andy Harper’s second book publication behind Sheilas, Wogs, and Poofters. After his professional football career in the National Soccer League (NSL) ended in 2001, he embarked on a productive career in journalism and commentating. Along the way he has gained many fans (and detractors). Clearly, he has contributed much to the domestic football media and literature scenes, and even published a doctoral thesis titled ‘Australia’s Power Structures and the Legitimisation of Soccer (2003-2015)’ in 2020. In a way, he belongs to the second-generation vanguard of Australian football broadcasting talent that was given wings by Johnny and Les.
So, it is quite fitting that Harper, in Mr and Mrs Soccer, plays the role of convener, editor, and witness to this venerable duo; and in doing so, he imparts some of that fiery wisdom to a generation that now knows what it feels like to feel something about football. Johnny and Les’ journey together needed to be told. Read this book, and live again amidst the hopes of the times when things would get better—all the while knowing, full well, that they did.
“Johnny: When we start talking about winning the World Cup, we’ll know the mission is complete. It’s a big task, but it is doable.” (pg. 156)
STARS: 4.5/5
UNDER 20: A fantastic look back on a dynamic duo that contributed so, so much to the development of football in Australia.
FULL-TIME SCORE: Like a 3-0 win remembered from long ago, the layers of affection and nostalgia added over the years burnish the legend and mythos of that victory.
RELATED READING: Sheilas, Wogs and Poofters by Johnny Warren (2002); By the Balls by Les Murray (2006)
Dispatches from Row-Z 